


Delicate as a Rose Petal

by darkknight



Series: Blood as Red as Love [2]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Reveal, Serial Killers, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-17
Updated: 2013-02-17
Packaged: 2017-11-29 16:07:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/688860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darkknight/pseuds/darkknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leap or Hide.<br/>Now was the time to decide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Delicate as a Rose Petal

Trust.

When do you know you can trust someone? 

When do you know you can give up your secrets?

How do you know?

In which moment do you realize that you trust someone? 

When can you say "I trust you" and mean it completely? 

Can you test the trust? See how much it can take? How far it can go?

 

Trust. 

It's something delicate, something you can't play around with, something you can't con or charm.

It's something you need to earn. 

Something you need to work for, and work hard. Something you rarely, by miracle, get a second chance at. 

 

One blow, no matter how small, can crush it. Crush it and turn it to ash that will flow through the wind and then be forgotten by many but still will litter the air.

 

One mistake. And everything's ruined. 

 

If you think you can trust someone and then find out you were mistaken, it would ruin you. 

It would close yourself of, it would cost you people who would actually be worthy, it would limit you to a box. To invisable walls that would stop you. 

 

So how do you know?

How do you know the person standing before you is worthy?

How can you be certain?

How can you be certain when your heart clouds your judgement?

How can you be certain when chemicals dull your brain? 

 

Do you take a leap?  A death leap at that.

Or do you hide? 

Do you tuck yourself away never to be found again? 

 

 

**What do you do?**

 

 

It's a mantra by this point and sooner or later it will come up to the surface.

 

But you decide how. 

Now's the time.

 

Leap or hide.

 

There's no answers to your questions and there probably never will.

 

You just decide if the risk is worth it.

 

* * *

 

That's what's been going through Michael's head right until this moment. But now, in the quiet that's such a rare thing in the spring afternoon, the thoughts fade. All but one.

 

"Leap." Michael said as Alexander turned his head from the sky to look at him. 

 

"What?" He asked, a small frown on his face. 

They had been silent, enjoying the birds sing and the rare occasional silence as they laid side by side on the green grass just in the shadow of the nearby tree. 

 

"Leap." Michael repeated sitting up. "I trust you, do you trust me?" 

 

Alexander sat up. "Of course I trust you." He said without hesitation. "What do you mean by leap?" 

 

"There's something I need to tell you. I haven't told anybody this, I was taught not to, but I need to, and I trust you, so.." He shrugged. 

 

Alexander's eyes shined and he had a small smile on his face. "Okay. Leap." His smile getting bigger.

 

Everything would change from here. Michael knew, he wasn't stupid or naïve, he wasn't holding on to the fact that it could stay the same. He learned the hard way that his secret wasn't a welcoming one. 

 

"Promise me you'll listen, you won't interup, just listen and you'll wait until I'm done to say anything, alright?" Michael didn't know where that came from but as the words hung in the air he realized that he needed Alex to understand, to know everything before he accused him. 

 

"I promise."

 

Michael nodded with a slight smile before he cleared his throat. "You changed me, I know how fucking cliché it sounds, I can barely believe it myself. But you have and I'm not angry or upset about it, 'cause you did it without knowing, without setting a goal. You brought up parts of myself I didn't know I could posses. I'm grateful for that. But I haven't been honest with you. I didn't think it mattered in the beginning, but now I realized that if this is truely going to work, I need to be honest. there's no point in saving this, so why wait? If this is suppose to last then it will. If it's not, then this is it. 

 

"During some time now I've asked myself a hell of a lot of questions. Questions which I know I'll never get answers to.

 

"What I'm going to tell you is a long and what society would call a fucked up story. But it's the truth and it's me. I can't help it. So without further ado, 'cause there's no point whatsoever to delay this. 

 

"I'm what the world likes to call a serial killer. I've always killed people. I've grown up with parents who were killers and taught me it. It's like how some kids learn to hunt animals, I learned how to kill people. Only I was taught that instead of a nice shotgun a well aimed punch or kick could be just as affective as a nicely sharpened knife or a 9mm. 

 

"I grew up learning the weak spots of the human body. I learned how far charm would take you. How to silence someone. How long the police would take if a mistake was made. I learned that if you had a weapon you had power, the power between life and death and if you weren't suppose to have it, how could you still have the weapon that controlled which side of the line you were on? 

 

"When I got to school that's when the problems started. I didn't doubt what my parents taught me. I thought there was some truth in it. It wasn't something I would change my mind about so easily, no matter how many times I was told that I can't just jump somebody because I find them annoying. 

 

"With time I started to question it though. When I got older, when I know more and when I got tired of always having to go to detention or get suspended or even expelled for things I was taught and believed were normal. I understood why the rest of the world didn't share my and my family's views.

 

"I couldn't bring myself to stop. The killing became a habit. It wasn't an addiction, it was more of a hobby. Something I've done since birth and nearly perfected.

 

"I haven't killed people in my daily life in years, not since I found out it was a thing you just didn't do. I killed people but it became more of a double life. I've killed people from random streets, I've killed criminals, prostitutes, homeless people, some I knew deserved it. 

 

"Then you came. When I first saw you, I knew there was something about you, something I couldn't place, something odd and new that I still can't place. It made me curious. 

 

"I didn't mean to fall in love with you. I was shocked when I realized. It took me by surprise, but I do love you, and trust you and that's why I'm telling you this. I haven't killed anybody since I realized I was in love with you. Somehow whenever I had the chance it didn't feel right. So I didn't. I didn't knew what was happening, I've never experienced something like that before.

 

"Killing became a crutch somehow after my parents died. It was the only thing linking me to them. Only thing that was ours, and when I couldn't bring myself to do it, I was afraid for the first time in my life. I had litterally no idea what was going on and it seriously fucked me over.

 

"After I told you I was in love with you the fear slowly went away. I don't know what it is, but you're differnet. I don't feel hurt or angry that I lost the only connection I had left to my parents. The emptyness that was there before I told you seemed to disappear the more days that passed. 

 

"I don't mind it at all. I always thought that if I lose this then I would lose myself, but I haven't. I feel like I'm more alive. I never felt anythign when I killed people, no sadisfaction, joy or guilt even. Just a closeness to my parents that I wouldn't normally feel, and a good way of eliminating idiotic or annyoing people, but nothing else.

 

"I feel like you've opened a door to who I really am and I just want to say thank you if this is going to be the last of what I see of you, I won't blame you, if this is too much for you to take I understand." 

 

Alexander had gone deathly silent during the speech. His eyes wide with his mouth hanging open and his skin a litte paler than before. 

All kinds of emotions were running behind his eyes. Flashes of them showing  occasionally on his face. 

 

From every respond Michael had thought Alex would give, he certainlly didn't think he would laugh. 

 

Alexander threw his head back and barked a humorless laugh. It was quite loud and lasted for nearly a full minute until Alex bowed his head, his laugh turning into a quiet chuckle. 

 

"I'm in love with a serial killer." The whole thing had Alexander shaking with hysterical laughter. His boyfriend had just told him he killed people with no emotions or second thought and all he could do was laugh. 

He should be angry, he should hit him and demand to know what the hell was wrong with him. But he knew it wasn't Michael's fault. He've been taught these kind of things since birth. How could he possibly know that his parents were a case of nutjobs and that you couldn't decide who should live and who should die just because you have a weapon on you. 

 

"You honestlly haven't killed since you told me you were in love with me?" He asked after he'd calmed down. 

 

"Honestly, I haven't killed anyone." He said. The slight frown that he'd gotten when Alex had started laughing was disappearing. 

 

Alexander thought back. It was nearly five months since Michael had confessed. The new year had just started, the joy of the holiday and New Year well behind. 

 

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? It's been five months." 

 

"When I told you I loved you I didn't know if I trusted you and then I didn't know if I trusted yo enough or if you trusted me, and then I spent quite some time trying to decide if I should tke a leap and just jump and see what happens or if I should hide and pretend that that part of me doesn't exist, that it never has. I know I never could so--"

 

"You took a leap." Alex finished for him.

 

"Yeah." 

 

The silence streched around them, occasionally broken by the sound of th wind and the song of the birds.

 

Alexander didn't know what he was going to do. He was in love with the son of a bitch and he didn't want to leave him. Just as he brought pieces of Michael out, Michael brought pieces of him that had been hidden for no one to ever see again. 

But could he really overlook the killings? 

 

Alexander sighed. Shoulders slumped. It all had happened in the past, it wasn't as he could do anything that would bring those people back. 

Besides, Michael hadn't killed in nearly five months, that was something. 

 

"Can you promise me that you will  _never_ kill again?" He needed it. He knew no matter how much he loved Michael he wouldn't just sit by and watch him pick up the killing again and just expect Alex to be okay with it. To know that Michael went out and about killing innocent people in cold blood, he _couldn't_. He would turn him in, for his own best. 

 

Michael looked at him for a second, taking in his tense state as Alex awaited an answer. He looked right in his eyes. He saw all the different emotions playing through. 

He somehow felt that as long as Alex was by his side, as a lover or a friend, the need to kill would be gone. And in a small and short moment Michael believed it. He believed it with every fiber of his being. 

 

A smile smile appered on his lips. 

 

"I promise." 


End file.
